From the Trash Heap

This summer has been too busy, with not nearly enough fun and relaxing. We haven't had any time to garden, the vegetable and flower beds are all shamefully weedy, and I am completely unmotivated to go out in this godforsaken heat wave to do anything about it. The Lord may have taketh away my will to work in the hot sun, and my free time with which to do so; but the Lord Giveth too. An enormous cushaw plant has grown out of the compost bin, across two trees, and out into the yard. The gourds are enormous. I have no idea what to do with cushaws. Pie isn't really my thing, and you'll find out later why that option is off the table. So if you know what to do with cushaws other than put them in pie, please leave a comment. Otherwise, these will end up like their predecessor, and sit on the porch as lovely fall decorations. 

We only have two weeks before school resumes, and I miss my kid already. The summer started out rough; Mr M. and I were both in a large wedding, and no sooner was that wrapped up than his grandfather passed away. Multiple trips out of state, a vacation that was simultaneously too long and too short, and we had to put the Fiery Prince in day camp so I can work. I'm grateful for my job, and I really love my job, but I need the next two weeks to slow down and enjoy my kid. I haven't touched my sewing machine in weeks, and that shawl isn't knitting itself (trust me, I checked).

This fall promises to be even busier than the summer in very good ways, but I am still on the PTA board (this is likely my last year), and I've been asked to act as PR chair for the school. Add to that my new involvement with an exciting community group, and, well . . . some days I can barely get things done because my head is swimming with it all.

As there is no time like the present, I am adding Weight Watchers to my list of stuff to do every day. So I am likely going to blog about it. Today is day 4, and so far, so good. I will say, the new PointsPlus system is easier and more fulfilling than the old system, and many fruits and vegetables are 0 points, so you'll never starve. That's great, because my favorite fruit is in season, and as it's such a small window, I plan to eat all the cherries I can get my hands on.

A Wealthy Life

I am so busy lately with so many things going on, it seems my brain is in overload mode. I can't think about more than one thing at a time, and even then I have to really force myself to concentrate on the task at hand. I collapse into bed, then have to be dragged out of that warm cocoon in the morning. But it all adds up to one thing: my life is so full of amazing goings on and even more amazing people.

I am focusing on this point, as it keeps me grounded and from becoming completely overwhelmed. I am focusing on the people, not the events and tasks surrounding them. The more I focus on the people, the more open I become to handling the tasks and events.

I would like to introduce you to two people with whom I am forming important bonds. We volunteer at the school together, and work together on the PTA. That alone is enough to indicate just how much we share many of the same values. The more time I spend with all the members of the PTA board, the more I am introduced to new ideas, new things, new ways to consider life. I point these two ladies out because they have amazing blogs:

The talented, soul-searching Amy of Resolutions and Telling

and the most positive-thinking church head I've ever had the honor to know (and read), the Roller Derby-ing Reverend Dawn of Speaking Of

These blogs offer insight into spirituality and living with truth and aplomb -- recommended reading on your path through life. Also check out "Mennonite in a Little Black Dress". It's hilarious, yet touches the soul (two things that rarely come together). 

AOII Reunion Shirts Voting

Vote with anonymous comment (select Anonymous when making a comment and don't add your name), using the number for your favorite T-shirt design! (we will work the shop on image quality). You can also email Nicole your vote, or private FB message Nicole.

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Bravado

There is a certain doctor appointment that every woman of childbearing age must suffer once a year. This has to happen regardless of the working order of her body. And once a year, every woman of childbearing age must answer the same question: Do you want to get pregnant this year?

Every year, this appointment creates a lot of stress for me because of that question. I realize that if PCOS has taught me anything, it is bravado. I spend most of the year doing my best to NOT long for another child; to be happy with the amazing family that God gave me; to be grateful for my blessings. I remind myself that only having one child has a lot of benefits: more savings, more sleep, more opportunities.

But every parent knows that those things are temporary and there will eventually come a time when you have plenty of savings, sleep, and opportunities. But by then you likely won’t be able to have a child.

It’s so easy for so many women to answer that question with a simple “yes”. I’ve learned better. The last time I said yes, I was reminded of painful shots that leave enormous bruises; of waxy medications that must be refrigerated and cost a fortune; of hormones that make the body and mind go crazy. Of the overall expense of such an endeavor.

So I say “no”.

No, I don’t want to go through the emotional rollercoaster of infertility. No, I don’t want to bankrupt my family because healthcare in this country is an industry, not a humane provision. No, I don’t want to have this conversation.

Then I have to say “yes”.

Yes, I understand that to get pregnant would actually endanger my health. Yes, write me a prescription for a pill that will treat my PCOS symptoms. Yes, I accept that this same pill will ensure that my infertile self does not get pregnant. Yes, I see the tragic irony in the situation.

Yes, I will work harder this year to keep my mask of bravado in place. Yes, I will try to remember that infertility does not mean that I’m a horrible person and God has abandoned me. Yes, I will see you the same time next year when we will do this all over again.

No, those aren’t tears. That’s the glue that holds my mask on seeping out around the edges.

Yes, I have to use a lot of glue.

Valentine's Crafts Ideas

I'm still in a knitting frenzy, though I have one piece to go before I plan to switch back  to sewing. In the meantime, it's time to think about Valentine's crafts for myself and the kiddo.

SuperMom has a great tutorial for making see-through Valentine's. Two options for changing- make them out of gauzy fabric that has to be cut to open, and I wonder if it's possible to simply iron the edges of the wax paper version.

We like to use our heart shaped silicone ice cube mold to make red glittery heart soaps. You can do it with crayons too.

I really like these hair clips

These conversation hearts would make great lavender sachets

We don't have any special plans (yet), and I'm not that great at sewing (obviously), but I recently found Dress a Day and am thinking about giving the whole dress remake thing a shot; maybe I'll end up with a cute dress for Vday. Maybe with a heart cutout in the back.

A quick Ravelry search brings up loads of Valentine-themed fiber arts. Then again, I might not be done knitting just yet...

Recouperating

That was a bumpy 6 months! I'm finally starting to recuperate, by which I mean that I have some free time and am using it. Mostly to craft....

To that end, I welcome you to look me up on Ravelry (Flaming Maiden). See you there!