The Courage That Is Necessary ...

After two weeks of emotional torture, great excitement, and serious contemplation of the good, the bad, the (very, very) pretty, and the cinder block ugly, I have come to a conclusion and acted upon it.

I turned down the job in order to continue to grow my business. Basically, the job does not fully utilize my skills and knowledge and I have too much to give up for a situation that doesn't utilize my skills or offer upward mobility. It was in fact a scary thing to do, but the right thing to do.

I am more committed now than ever to Divine Writes because of this experience, which has been an overall very positive experience. It is my own window that I will be putting my office Orchid in.


The courage that is necessary to embark beyond the notion that survival is based upon the ability to rise at 7 a.m., five days a week.
(So sayeth the Colonel Les Claypool)

Back to the Bonfire

A lot has gone on since I abandoned this space. The most important being that my depression finally became so deep, so dark, so desperate that even I finally recognized what was happening to myself and my family. So, I found a decent doctor and got on medicine that works well to overcome the genetic infinite sadness that I inherited from my Grandmother. So, I'm a lot better, nearly whole. And my family unit is much better, and feels very whole, which is vital as the years of expensive infertility treatments added quite a lot to my depression and my family didn't feel whole and I didn't feel whole and the whole thing was really falling to pieces around me as I struggled to keep them glued back together.

Now Chris, and E, and I are the glue that holds everything else around us together. In a very good, very happy way.

See? Glue.

Along with becoming happy and whole, I started my own company! A little copy writing business that I love very much, and that is growing all the time. For the many friends who have been wondering where I am and why I never answer the phone and rarely return calls, here is the answer:

Chris made the logo; I love it! I have intentions of having that little inkwell tattooed above my elbow.

Which proves that I did NOT turn into a medicated zombie, and that I am indeed still my regular, fiery, The Flaming Maiden: Nicole! self. I turned 30, and my Mom gave me this for my birthday present:

That, my lovelies, is a tattoo on my right shoulder. It is a large (to me) fiery lion. As a matter of fact, it is THE fiery lion that pulls a fiery chariot that carries a fiery Prince, WHO, it turns out, is in fact my very fiery son.

He has learned how to ride a bike this Spring.

Though I don't have as much time as of late, we do still craft. I am currently working on lots of socks, and an afghan for Chris that is a tiny bit like one his mother made him when he was a boy. It rained Sunday, so E and I had time to hole up in the art studio.

I tried to make a pincushion from scrap fabric. I need to reopen it and add some stuffing-- the bottom is rather poky.

Chris's Granny has recently been in the hospital, and very on our minds and in our prayers (she is recovering). A combination of that, and a giant pickle jar induced me to come up with this:

I used a piece of a quilt top that I inherited from Granny's old sewing stash, then I sewed it- wait for it--- using zigzag stitch all around the edges to a piece of-wait for it--- that sort of grippy shelf paper! Do you know what I'm talking about? The shelf liner that keeps the rims of glasses from chipping? Only I have very pretty grippy shelf liner! So now we have a very pretty kitchen grippy for opening jars! And it pretties up the giant pickle jar too!
As an added bonus, Chris informed me that his Mama used to have a quilted jar lid cover that she used on giant pickle jars. Mine is grippy to make it easier to open jars, but it's the same concept. Folks, that's like two sweet things for Chris in one!

Also, he gets to eat the pickles. Unfortunately, we are crazy for giant pickle jars and Ezra and I need Chris to eat two of these jars of pickles as quickly as possible. I hope he's up to the challenge. To be fair, Chris started it. He uses a giant pickle jar to store corks for the miniatures that he carves. I have one giant pickle jar that I store ribbons in (it's so pretty!), and recently had a reason why I need another, though I can't remember just at this moment what it is. Yarn, maybe? Ezra wants one to fill with "pricklies" that he collects on his bike rides around the neighborhood. They are some sort of large, prickly seed pod that falls off, I think it's a ginko tree, maybe. Anyway, he collects them and wants a jar to store them in. He also has plans to grow one of these trees in our yard so that we will have a never ending supply of pricklies. I think we should start it growing in a pot so that it can grow into a sapling before we plant it in the yard so that it doesn't get cut down by the lawnmower.

See? Whole.

I guess I got into some sort of mood . . .

Summer ends
as school begins.
Time to move the stack of books
that hides my alarm clock.

------------------------------

Puppy, you are so like a toddler,
with your favorite toy baby
and peeing on my floors.
Guess I don't need another.

Waxing Poetic

So, with a little over 24 hours to go before my baby officially starts Kindergarten, it seems I'm starting to feel the weight of the situation. So, I'm waxing poetic.

Kindergarten. Goodbye baby.
Time to live your life,
to find your own path.
Time for me to find mine.

____________

The journey ahead of you seems incredible
to you.
It seems incredibly intimidating
to me.

Whoa Nelly!

It seems like we just haven't been home almost at all this summer. It's been a whirlwind of catching up with family, learning important things about my past and that of some key family members, evading sharks, Ezra learning to swim, and a TON of driving. I got in Sunday night, and have barely left the house except to take Ezra's new puppy, Georgia, to the vet.

I imagine I'll be up to my old antics soon enough once school starts back up, but in the meantime, I want to bring two things to your attention.

1. For those suffering infertility, or just interested in more knowledge, RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association, is offering free teleseminars every week. You can get more information and sign up here.


RESOLVE does a lot of work on Capital hill working to reform healthcare and insurance regulations. Which brings me to my second point:

We need healthcare reform, and we need it now. I have long suffered with private insurance companies who make it damn near impossible to get the healthcare I need. Insurance companies often charge high co-pays for womens' healthcare. I also have to manage all of my healthcare records, and I have to constantly update each of my three doctors on what care the others have chosen for me. We NEED electronic medical records. We NEED universal healthcare. Without fast healthcare reform, America will continue to lose political ground to other developed countries. The American family should not have to worry about getting antibiotics for their sick children. Be wary that those who want to block this reform are the very same who make money off their investments in private insurers and pharmaceutical companies.

I ask you to join me in showing support for Obama's healthcare plan. All you have to do is sign the petition.